Baphgirl (ssj_insane) wrote,

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The bells....... THE BELLS!!!!!!!!

Quick update. Everythings good.. ok ok, more realistically, MOST things are good. I have a new job, now in full time employment in a permanent role, highest pay ever... Finally broken the $30,000 seal. For me it is an accomplishment after only a few years in temporary posiitions so, meh!.

Although I like my current job, it will never be like the one I had at the leather place. My workmates were AWESOME. I'm not saying the ones I have now are alright, but it all made a part of the atmosphere. Plus there was never ever the niggling anxiety of those plastic things with the buttons and holes and cords.....

TELEPHONES. It is one of my most destested methods of communication... Internet being my least despised.

Everytime I urge myself to answer the phone when it rings.... and everytime I freeze up, and try to look busy (often getting other workmates who probably are actually busier), and just don't answer it.

At the other place, the receptionist/secretary took care of it, and it was never for me.. not work calls anyway. If it was for someone, she'd use a PA to announce the call, and it was all good. My workspace was phone-free so I never had to glance over, only to have it glare back menacingly... brewing up a call as it does now...

One of my workmates hassles me about it. I wonder how long it will take before it goes beyond a joke. I'm postive I can answer it when no one is around. I am sure that if I am in a situation where I am in my own workstation, and the phone goes, then I know it will be for me so I will answer it. I've only been at this place for nearly a month and a half... I don't know what it is... that makes me freeze up and hate phones... so I felt compelled to write it out on here.

I will try and make this sound as non-angsty and whiny as possible. I don't like other people who I don't know (oh, and some I do know). People annoy me... well, they Don't annoy me if they don't say anything or do anything to/at me. I am not a social animal like a dog... I am a solitary animal like a cat. I accept this side of me. Unfortunately my job, in the long run, won't. I don't want to have to rattle off my life story and psychological composition to my employer, friendly as she may be. I'm from the school where if you aren't good at something, then simply don't do it. It's not a form of laziness. I do work hard, when the work comes in. I just prefer not to have contact with the outside world (ie clients). BOO HOO! It's part of your job requirement its what you get paid for!!!!!!!!!! You're letting the team down!!!!!! You're being the weakest link you'll be thrown out of there so fast... you're not good enough for a job like this!!!

The voices don't stop.
The phone doesn't stop.

Every time I could have answered it and don't, I get the guilts. I can operate expensive advanced biotechnological analytical machinery, but I get the heebies when I'm expected to answer a simple phone!

I don't like my personal space invaded. I don't like people talking in my ear, and I don't like ringing ppl I don't know and talking in their ear.. but how does that stop me doing 90% of my other work?

Reading back on this, it seems that I don't like a lot of things. But in the big picture that is outweighed by the things that I do actually like... since when was it illegal not to dislike anything...? I can be a fucking grouch sometimes... wearing this happy clappy mask all day can be exhausting.. but not as draining as being asked 'whats wrong?' when I'm looking my normal blank expression..... or 'don't look so worried..' when I am thinking about something in-depth. So some days I wear this little sellotape smile and hold in the bitch when she is being treated as a child rather than a workmate... yes I'm junior staff atm but I can still only do a few things at a time... I respond better to being asked nicely not being bossed. I do subtlely give back what I get.. I can be curt with my workmates if I feel that they are being a bit much.

Anyway..... this phone thing... yeah I know its not a stalker on the other end of the phone, just I've had some pretty bad experiences from work... usually I'm one to put my past behind me and carry on.. but this is somehow different. Its a tough nut to crack. I think.. that in order to handle this phone thing, that I need to change more of myself than I am willing to. I hear all the other workmates on the phone and they just idle chit chat blah blah stuff that sounds simple. And they sound so confident, and know where this is and that is and who's away and where everyone is. I don't have that airy-fairy receptionist voice. My voice is quite low, and whispery when I talk to people I don't know. I have two differnt voices. One reserved for friends and when I can be myself... and one that comes out when I'm talking to unaquainted people, that makes me sound like a total idiot. I'm NOT an idiot. I just have trouble expressing myself vocally... which is why I do have a lot of time for shy people. They're not stupid, not everyone has to be a loud obnoxious extrovert life of the party 'oh look at my repetoire of canned phrases' megaphonemouth. And yes, I'm quite jealous, yet... thankful I'm not one of them... although going down that alley one could become successful just because of the report they have. I have my own magnetism, I can make friends, I can incite lust... (although not as much as the days of old because I'm somewhat attached.. but that doesn't stop the other half of the popluation..) I can be successful in my own right tho. I have my words........ wonderful, fulfilling words!!! Words are my ally, my defense, my offence... just through one medium...

Damn... once again, I am thwarted by time... I must away to my bed of sleeping. :P
Good night and....
**Disclaimer: This "curse" was in jest... sure I do something like a "curse" on the internet... curses... feh.
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i love it. are you working at a bank or something? i was in WaMu yesterday and this lady picked up the phone with this huge smile and was like: "HELLO! this is ::muffle:: how can i help you today?!" very annoying. if someone answered the phone like that if i called a bank i would think it was getting robbed. but i can understand your fear of phones. i had to get over it when i worked at this pizza place. after a while it was like a tape i played in my head for the customers. "Thank-you for calling Hungry Howie's on Thompson, this is aleiha, how can i help you?" ::cringes:: i hate people someimes.
Yes, yes! Exactly.. its the getting over it I am trying to work on. I can do the introduction, the whole good morning/afternoon, (business), Sarah speaking.. etc etc.
I work at an animal diagnostic laboratory... my job is to test stuff, lab work.. which I'm pretty good at, and I enjoy to a medium extent. Clients are various vets speckled around the country, amongst other contacts for stock and reagents and stuff. I think the biggest thing.. is that when someone rings up, they expect the person on the other end to know everything, as well as read minds. I know jack shit at the moment, or how much shit everyone else knows. The last thing I want is to lead the client on a wild goose chase over the phone... because I'll be on the spot and my brain will start whizzing and overtaking my speech (or it will depart completely, leaving me without my expansive memory bank of words) and I'll sound like a stuttering dolt.. its something that always happens to me when I'm put at the centre of attention... like a stealth ninja caught in the path of a searchlight. :P
I share your part-time misanthropy. ~_^
cant you just transfer the call to someone else who can actually help the person? if an angy customer at Howie's would call, i would just get the manager, or Dan to deal with them. i have no idea how to help angry customers... "it's been about an hour and my pizza still hasn't gotten here" was the most frequent bitch they had. i would just tell them to hold on while i located thier order... (really i was just asking Dan if it had left yet) usually by the time i got back, they would hae already hung up. i dunna, pizza and animal care are completely different fields. i guess there's no hope for people like us.
Yeah, I could do that if it got really bad I guess. I think the vets get pissed off if results come back for tests they didn't request, or they got the wrong ones, or it got faxed thru to the wrong vet... we're only a newish lab and still getting all that shit sorted out. Not too much different between pizza and animals.. cept the animals are dead on the pizza (unless its a vege pizza). Its just one of those things... I'm sure after a year or so I'll be a real pro. ;P Hah! I don't think i could work at a pizza place hehe.. they always look REALLY busy! ;)
it depends on where you work. i think that Howie's was fun because of the people i worked with and my boss. he's the owner, and about 26 years old. he bought the business from his parents and then hired all of his friends. i got in because of my best friend, Shawn. working there is like a priveledge. you get paid to work, but its not like yer working with all the cool people around. i would work really hard just because i wanted Dan to be successful. that's what makes a job fun. when i moved, i worked one day at a Domino's and quit. its was horrible the way they made thier food and the people there were really lame. okay, enough babbling...
Wow, from the way you described it, that sounds like an awesome work environment, and a great reason to work hard! Its the atmosphere that makes the most of it... followed by the job itself, I reckon. Working with good friends wouldn't be so bad cos you can give each other shit and joke around and be real... within (or possibly sometimes stretching slightly) the boundaries of professionalism ;P

To me, personally... the best work environment EVER... would be just me.. in a room/studio.. with my computer with MS Word in one corner, the messy paint-covered arty part in another, and a soundproof room adjacent to it, with musical instruments and recording gear... and the most crucial tools of all, imagination and creativity! (oh, and maybe some skill as well).
yeah, i can see the appeal in that. but i do believe that i would need people around. i was working with people that i had known most of my life. i met Shawn in 1st grade. thats almost 12 years that ive known him. jesus... but yeah, we had fun... he would chase me around like he was a raptor and attack me in the walk-in, or we would dance to music... somewhat sexually... haha, and we would harass our boss (pinch his nipples/give him hugs/hump him when he wasnt looking). we once locked him out of the store. we convinced him that i had peirced my clit once, just to fuck with him. all he wanted to know was why we were outside instead of working... that was a fun day. i miss it a lot. i enjoyed working there... now im stuck in the middle of nowhere No Cal with only my computer to keep me company... sweet, sweet computer...
Hey I totally know about stressing around's like performance phobia or something...but it does get better..i was such a dork on my first phone call....i was desperately trying to hold it together and the stress made me crack up laughing..sad i know. But when you do it all the time it becomes second nature, you'll be fine! =)
Hey there! :D Thanks for the supportive comment. I don't find it pathetic that you laughed under the stress, at least it's better than total silence while trying to come up with something to say and then hanging up, although things have slightly improved since then.
I've been at my job for almost a year now, and I'm still struggling a bit, but I can do it if I need to. At least I'm not scared to call people now, so that is one obstacle overcome. Still I avoid answering it when I can, and I'm getting quite sneaky about it. I cannot work at my best when the phone is right next to me; it distracts me, so I move it well away if no-one in my area is around, then I find I work a whole lot better.
I'm there as a technician firstly (which is what I am trained to do), and a receptionist lastly - way lastly. So, I survive in my own little sneaky way, the way I know how.

Cheers! ~_^