Baphgirl (ssj_insane) wrote,

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Lethal Jesus, and other stories.

OK, This is a really huge post and I know that some of you hate huge posts and like people to do a nice tidy little linky thing to keep it neat and concise. I treat this journal like any other journal I've had in the past, and just write and write and write... you can't do a little linky thing in a paper journal book so why do it here? If you don't like long posts go read someone elses stuff! >:) OK Fine, I admit, I dont' know how to do the little linky thing.

If the last post seemed somewhat random and possibly maybe inconsistant with the other posts (over the last, what... 4 years?), it is because there are certain aspects of my offline life that I like to keep... unpolluted and somewhat uncontaminated by blaring stuff all over the internet (as I mentioned a couple of posts ago). Yesterday was an exception. I was so charged with energy, that I thought 'why keep stuff quiet? why not open up a little more than usual?' So I did! Because I can. Keeps you lot on your toes! (the ones who don't know me other than words on a screen, anyway) :P

Aaaaaaaanyway, sticking with the somewhat religious theme, my wonderful day was topped off by going to see 'The Passion of the Christ.' (AKA 'The Passion', 'The Passion of the X', 'Passion X', or just 'The Jeebus Movie'.

It was a good movie, overall. I don't usually write reviews of movies I see (and I do see a lot on a weekly basis, at home tho not at the theatres), but for a rather controversial movie which has received a lot of bad rap (mostly about the violence), Passion was an intriguing piece of work.

The violence was good, and the makeup and gore was pretty reasonable. The feeling that I got from this interpretation of the Jesus myth was that Jesus wasn't the 'bad guy' (as certain conflicting thingies in my head may think), stupid maybe, but is it entirely stupid to speak up for what you believe in? Quite possibly, if one cannot gauge the effect it has on the masses. (He should have done his research first! :P~). Did Jesus have a God complex? (so to speak), or did the others who felt threatened by him have an inferiority complex? There was no Freud around to analyse them at the time.

Ol' J.C. was caught between a rock and a hard place. I doubt the Jews would have believed him even if he performed a miracle in front of them. What sucked is that he was made welcome there, and then less than a week later he was grated up with a meaty 'cat', or two by grinning Roman soldier guys, persecuted by shiny Jews with sticks and fancy helmets, and then by the Romans; at least they (or at least one of them) showed him a lot more mercy than they did (at first). Pilate was indifferent, he even went so far as to have the people choose between a murderer and their 'king'. They chose the murderer and he was really funny and looked like he had fun playing his character. It was the head Jew guy that kept making the call to crucify J.C. and to free that other guy, and the majority chimed in after him. Sheep.
And then a lot of them cried after seeing how brutal and sadistic the Romans could be, once they had their hand on some weapon or another. They didn't care really, it was another guy to make fun of and excessively beat up. All in a days work
The movie did paint the Jews in a poor light. Maybe it was a subliminal message, a subtle dig at the modern-day bigger picture from Mr. Gibson, who knows? This is my observation.

So to sum up the movie in a few sentences.
Jesus wore some styley amber contact lenses and cried and prayed cos he knew he was going to die and stuff. Then he got caught, then he did a kickass bungy jump and got hit a lot. Then later on Judas did a REAL kickass bungy jump. Jesus got the bejeezus beaten out of him until he was very nearly dead and bleeding. He bled a lot. Both Marys cried (a lot). There were flashbacks here and there (nicely tied into the story). There was a lot of crying and bleeding and yelling and bleeding. Jesus did a bellyflop into the dirt. The judges gave it a 3.5, because carrying a polystyrene and papier mache cross is hard to do when you're bleeding so much and your half-blind, so extra points went for effort and creativity (OK, there were no judges, but there were in my head). Then there were nails and more blood, and a death and even MORE blood and a Jesus Christ Pose to finish the routine. Then good ol dad decided to wreck everything (as usual) and make the people afraid (as usual). Talk about poor timing. Maybe he could have saved his son? *shrugs*. Nevertheless he came back from the dead, you know the story. Its a shame he won't be able to do the walk on water trick again with the holes in his feet... :P

Oh yeah, and don't forget the Satan character. What was IT's purpose in the movie? To float around all scary-like with snakes slithering from under it's robes and a smattering of mutated midget minions, obviously, because as we all know, that is what Satan does. *rolls eyes*
That, and scream 'NOOOOOOO!' from a reddish tinted itty bitty pit that is supposed to be.. Hell? *scratches head*. The effect and atmosphere of the movie would have remained the same if this character wasn't present. That was a letdown and a disappointment and one more actress to pay. *shakes head*.

Another thing that pokes at me is that the movie IS brutal and gory, very very graphically violent in a mainstream sense. Yet they lowered the age rating. I'm trying to put in words what's in my mind. It has nearly as much blood and gore as a typical horror movie, but its ok because its something that the majority of people can relate to. Being immune to almost any violent act on screen, I found it ho-hum, but there might have been some people that don't like that kind of stuff that might want to watch it for the story. If J.C had only been smacked on the wrist and maybe hit a few times before being nailed to the cross it would have cut about half an hour off the running time, but still conveyed the message to some extent. It wasn't really needed, but hey it made for excellent birthday entertainment. It was almost like being there (because of the Aramaic/Latin/etc that was used, although in some places it lacked subtitles (I think they made stuff up!)) :P
I actually preferred watching Jesus of Nazareth when they used to show it when I was younger (because that like other movies made in that era had an epic effect that can't be matched... OK except by LoTR). They could create an awesome movie without the need for copious amounts of violence... just excessively shiny body oil instead, and technicolor! :D
Passion was good to watch as an 'artists impression', like it wasn't OMG that ReALLi Hapenend LiEk DaT!!!!11111111 If I were to give it a mark out of 5 I'd give it a 3 1/2.

There! I think I'm done now! :)

I suppose one thing remains. Why the fuck did I waste a post blithering about this movie, when I've seen hundreds of other movies and not written squat about them? To put it in a nutshell, religion has always interested me, since a young age when I tried to bring back the Greek pantheon about 18 years ago after reading Homer's Iliad. I worked hard at it for 5 years (and lost a few friends because they thought I was crazy) but not hard enough. There was one point when I was certain I was an obscure god (shock, horror!) and pretty much did what Jesus got crucified for (told a bunch of people I was better than them, pretty much. Since then I've learnt my lesson and mostly kept quiet now. All in good time). Some people are afraid/uncomfortable when they don't understand stuff, and act out, especially 8 - 11 year olds (well they were in my day *shakes walking stick*)

Ironically (to rub salt in the wounds...) not long after, along came Xena and Hercules TV shows. How 'bout that for mud in yer eye! Not to mention bad timing. But hey, childhood mental scarring was worth it, because TROY is coming to the big screen next month, so it's not all bad! That will be the next movie I write about in here probably.

OK, before I sign off and go to sleep, a few updates. I have a new car now! It's a '88 Toyota Celica GTR. Nice, tidy little 2.0L, WAY more grunt than the old (and still missed) Civic. I've had it for 2 months and it is the awesomest car ever! It captures the late 80's so well! It's real flash for a car of its time, electrics, power steering, air conditioning/climate control thingy, PLUSH dark blue interior (DROOLS). And it purrs like a lusty demon. A sucky thing about it is that the night time visibility is poor when the lights are dipped. When theyr'e on full beam they're brill. I have to get that sorted at some stage (sooner the better). Another thing, the windscreen fogs up like a motherfucker so the A/C has to be on most of the time... which of course uses up petrol. Its great on hills and also when passing, and now it has the stereo I had in the Civic in it, its sooooper dooper (although I'm awaiting the day when I buy an amp, a sub, and some 6x9's.) The exterior has TINY amounts of rust but other than that and evidence of a minor prang at the front, the paintwork was flawless... UNTIL Some stupid dozy bitch pranged into me while she was getting out of a park! Not too much damage, just a little crack in the paint which will have to get fixed.

Now that I've gotten over the crash, I can relay what happened. Me and my bf, (lj user chaossphere - I forget how to do that little link bit that links to other users and i'm too damn tired), usually go out driving at nights (mostly because my car is the only place we can go if we want some private-ish time together... and no the car is a bit too small to do that in). I do the driving and he supplies the sounds and sometimes stuff like food and drink. Anyway we were exploring the roads somewhere over 100km from home, and I approached a corner, which had the signage of a sweeping corner, so I treated it as such, meaning I slowed down slightly from 100kph (which was the speedlimit ;P) so I could take it. I couldn't judge the camber, but thought the speed was adequate. Turned out it was a sharp right-angle and so I tried to slow down further but lost control and the car swerved and spun and did fuck knows and time stood still then BANG! Crashed head-on into a ditch. My bf was a bit shaken but he wasn't hurt just mostly seatbelt crap and winded n stuff. THAT, and after I checked I was mostly fine too, were the most important things. So we kinda hugged in relief, and then (I think the car was still going), I tried to reverse it out. I didn't know it was in a ditch because direction at that stage meant nothing to me. I got out the drivers side, and it didn't look TOO bad. My bf got out and had a look at the passenger side. The door didn't quite mesh properly and his face and body language said it all. My car was FUBAR! The left side was completely mangled. All I could do was laugh and sing 'Wooo I crashed my car, my car is dead!' Which is how I usually act in a situation (instead of crying and panicking and stuff). Eventually rationality and common sense crept back in and I switched my hazard lights on. Luckily there was a car coming and someone willing to help me @ 12:30am. She was really really helpful. I rang my parents and a tow truck. The tow-truck got there first obviously. My parents arrived around, 2am, and by that time my car was gone. It was horrible to hear it when then engine started up, metal was grating up against other things and it didn't sound right at all. And then there was the creaks and groans as it was hauled unceremoniously out of the ditch and taken away. Before it was, I hugged it goodbye and apologised to it, because even though I wanted to get rid of it at some stage, I didn't want it to go like THAT. To look on the bright side, both locks were fucked from break-ins, the back upholstery (which was perfect when I bought it), had cigarette burns in it), and it had the stupid memories of the stuff being stolen out of it.

If the Celica EVER EVER EVER gets cig burns in the upholstery, I will go on a rampage. I don't like anyone smoking in it, not by any degree. Sometimes it just happens. I don't like it at all, and it will stop. I must be responsible for not allowing it to occur.
So anyway, thanks to some concerned (nosey) neighbour, the cops were involved. They didn't need to be because no other vehicle was involved, but because they were notified about it (they thought the car was stolen because no one was in it), they had to follow it up. So both me and my bf had to give statements, and I was SUPPOSEDLY charged with careless driving. All the talks of courts and fines and pleading guilty made me angry and upset, because as far as I was concerned, I wasn't guilty of anything, also I do not understand that whole system (and FOR ONCE, I like it that way). If I'm wrong, I will usually admit it, but I wasn't. You know why? Because I had NO idea of the angle of the corner. It was in a 100kph zone and just had directional arrows. Yes, its a corner that veers to the right, it told me. Usually there is a speed limit posted or something along with a sign with the type of corner it is. There was none. I'm not the first to have crashed in that spot, there have been heaps of others. So I'm going to compose a letter to the council requesting something be done about it. Just a couple of signs will save potential victims stuffing up their cars or their lives.
I haven't received anything from the cops (they said I'd get something like in a month or something but it's been 2 1/2 since then). I ASSUME they've been dropped (assumings not all that cracked up to be). I like my nice clean driving record how it is.

I never saw the Civic again, except for its licence plates (which I had to part with but not before I took a photo of them). My stereo and the insurance money were the only things I got back from it, and they live on in my new car (which is a really really really fun car).

Damn this has been a long post :/ It's 2am I'm going.
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I tend to run on as well, so don't worry ;) Semagic has the editing goodies, if you want to use them; I do, if I have large pic files or silly stuff.

Sorry to hear about your car - I have had a couple of times in ditches, due to either too much drink or bad judgement, but I have been lucky, and gotten out in time, i.e. not getting caught, bu John Law lol!

I will probably go see Passions one of these fine days; complete with my horns, just like did, and will be sure to sing "Always look on the bright side of life" from Life of Brian, hehehehe....sick and gory can be used in funny and decidedly un-funny ways...
...whizzing past your head after the movie! I read the review a few days ago (linked off your LJ, I do believe). His makeup was awesome! Shame about the fridge magnets.

Yes!! Life of Brian was another great movie! Doh, I can't believe I forgot! ><

Thank you for the editing advice (I will have a play around), and the car crash stuff. It is welcoming to know it even happens to the best of us! Yes you were lucky you escaped the pigs! From what I've seen of COPS, they look like a terrible lot! (Everythings true on TV, right?) :P Ours don't carry guns all the time tho anyway.
yes, everything on TV is true, dammit! And I belive everything I read in popular magazines, and what is in the newpaper...

But seriously, America isn't all bad - we're not all such jerks as you see; just mostly. :)